Happy October!

Ladies! Hello. Long time no speak to. I hope this post finds you all well. I hope you had a great summer and are finding your Autumnal Equinox progressing nicely.

So, I have so much to tell you all. I don’t know where to start. I’ve been thinking about what to tell you first. The who’s. The what’s. The how’s. The why’s!

I’ve decided to just begin. And where I end up – is where I end up.

Recently I watched a movie with Ben Stiller in it. His character in the movie is a recently released patient of psychiatric institution. He had a nervous breakdown and he was recuperating at his brother’s house in Cali. He resides in NYC, but is hanging out in Cali watching his brother’s house while the brother and his family are in Iraq or Beirut or somewhere… I never did get why the brother was spending several weeks in this place. (I’m going to re-watch the movie – since, as I write this I can’t even remember what the name of the movie was…)

In any case – the important thing I took from this movie (since I didn’t particularly enjoy it) was a line the crazy Ben Stiller character said to his close friend. It went something like this: “When did you start accepting the life you didn’t plan for? “

Ok. WOW. Right? I mean – think about it. How many of us are actually living the life we planned for? And, when was SOMEBODY going to tell us – that the imaginary life we create in our heads – was just that?

I know a few women who are very successful (by some people’s definition) where they have climbed the corporate ladder and have made it up to high rungs. Making goot (yes, goot, which is more than good) money. Buying the houses the cars – all without a man. Which, of course is no big deal – if that’s what the plan was, but I know for sure – they didn’t plan that. And, needless to say – a few of those women’s personal lives have been compromised due to the type of success they have acquired.

In June, my husband and I moved our family from the house we owned and lived in for 10 years because it made the best financial sense. We lamented over the decision for a while and then agreed – that it was more important to provide access to good education for our children, a safe sense of community, a nice place to lay their heads and to keep me close to a mall. I’m just sayin.

So, after serious thought and logical evaluation – we sold our home in the lower NE Philly and moved into a rented town home in South Jersey. The move was serious business. For one, Philly and Jersey are two different perspectives.

At first my husband and I felt like fish out of water. Well, let me speak for myself – it was strange traveling north to go to work. I mean – not taking the Blvd or the Drive into Center City was almost hard to fathom. But, guess what after a few weeks of 42, and the Ben bridge – it kinda was not so bad. As a matter of fact, I’m less late to work than I was when I was coming from the NE.

My son is now in a school system that is rated one of the top in country – and it’s free. My daughter is in a daycare that has a curriculum that includes Spanish and Music and Dance and Cognitive thinking and Spatial Learning. The exposure to these opportunities were possible in Philly, but the affordability was the strain my husband and I couldn’t tolerate. We went from paying Chestnut hill tuition, to Mt Airy tuition to local parish tuition to premature grey hair and then decided that the negotiation of what we could afford vs. my son’s education wasn’t fair to any of us.

The development we live in is chock full of kids. I mean ladies – kids are all over the place and somehow the place is still pretty. The other parents are friendly (and if I were the type – I could probably befriend a few of the moms). I trust the environment. Enough so that my son can run around the development with his buddies until the sun sets and I don’t have to worry about a car hitting him, or what transient is peering nearby. Don’t get me wrong, my overbearing tendencies have not altogether vanished- let’s be clear. I’m still that mom who needs to know the names, the addresses and the goings on with the boys my son is running around with. Chile. Please.

Our house is new. Built in 2005-ish and now my laundry room is on the same floor as the bedrooms. Now, for some of you that means nothing. You may have already had this small luxury – but let me be happy with my new found perk. Thank you…

Having the washer and dryer a few steps form my bedroom (eh hem, master suite) is real sweet. It makes dong laundry a smidge less irritating. To be honest, my husband did the laundry in our Philly house. He’d take Sunday (all day) drag all the laundry down to his man cave, watch the tube and wash and fold all day long. These days, mommie does a load every day or so. I don’t have it down pat – but I’m ok with the new acquired chore. There are 3 bathrooms. Compared to the one in Philly. I have two men in my life who sometimes “miss” and there was a lot of yelling about cleaning up after themselves. Now they can miss in a bathroom other than the one I use!

I will tell you though. Since we are being real: the feeling of owning vs. renting was hard to shake. I know there are millions of grown folk who have landlords. And are perfectly fine with that. It took me a minute for it to settle in my spirit… but with banks falling a part, NATIONS falling a part. – if I have to pay rent – and maintain my credit score – well then you can see my point. And guess what: a few weeks ago on Oprah – a tidbit of irrelative info came forth on her show on the guy who owns Face Book…he RENTS! WTF? If there is anyone in this country who can buy as many houses as he wants, its this dude – and he decided to reveal that he was renting. (Now, don’t paint me naive- I’m sure there is a piece of property or two somewhere in this word that little boy owns – but imagine the statement he knew he was making when he allowed Oprah to tell the world he was residing in a rental…)

Ok. SO – that was the first unplanned personal obstacle I conquered this year.

Then, there was July – when I turned 40. Lord have Mercy. What??? 40!? Are you efffen kidding me? Those ladies who smile and sing 40 and fabulous could kiss my you know what. There was nothing fabulous about turning 40.

At that point all my plans and dreams of celebrating my 40^th on a yacht in the Greek Isles had dissipated into a poof of ridiculous childlike fantasy. I had to shelf that one quick, fast and in a hurry. Because, I had just moved. Spent up a lot of money moving and it just wasn’t feasible. And, down the tubes went the image of me slim, basking in the Grecian sun, luxuriating with my family on holiday. (The “slim” part was pure delusion in any scenario)

So, I did a wine cruise on the Hudson with three important of the most important people in my life: My husband, my older and much wiser cousin, and her New York Ricano (how do you spell that?) boyfriend. HA! A blast! It was a great 40^th and I am blessed to have had spent it with people who I know in my soul to love me. Without judgment or condition. Eff Greece.

Then in August my mother lost her eldest brother.

My grandmother had six children and my uncle was the first of them to go. It was devastating. And, for respect of my Aunt and my cousins – I won’t go into detail – but I will share this – the loss of my uncle was monumental. He represented a father who did anything he could for his children. He represented the husband that loved his wife’s dirty draws (sorry, a cultural analogy). He kept my aunt on pedestal for the 40 years they were married. We all appreciated that and some of us longed for it… My uncle was a champion. And I miss him with every letter I type about him.

Then in September my mother lost one of her sisters.

My aunt had been in compromised health for about two years. Her daughter was challenged every one of those days with what was best for her mother… What insurance would cover, what if doctors weren’t listening, which doctors cared less, how the nurses treated my aunt in the wee hours of the night, how the nursing homes could possibly employ such buffoons, and not to mention maintaining her job, raising her two sons and keeping her sense of sanity. My aunt was a gem. She was a trip. She loved to shop. Especially at night…she loved her some QVC and Home Shopping Network.

I honestly don’t think any of us had recovered from my uncle’s passing when the family met for my aunts funeral… and then to be back in the very church we held my grandmother’s funeral in 29 years ago (some of us hadn’t been in that church since then) was all too much. Something none of us hadn’t planned.

For me, it was like going to multiple funerals. My grandparents raised me until I was eleven. Then my grandmother passed. The life I thought I was going to live (then at that young age ) was gone. It would no longer be. So, back in that church, mourning the loss of a beloved aunt became a continuation of the mourning of my grandmother. And that life I thought I would have…

Its’ October now. Time moves on.

I wonder to myself about my life and the life I had planned. The many scenarios that have only come and gone in my mind…what could have been? Who would I have been? Who have I been and now become?

And, I can only say that the lesson to be learned is to accept the life you don’t plan for. Accept it. Do the best you can with the life you have. Because you don’t know what the Universe has planned for you…

An order has been placed.

Listen to Your Heart

TODAY’S SCRIPTURE:  ”The heart of the wise teaches his mouth, and adds learning to his lips” (Proverbs 16:23, NKJV)

TODAY’S WORD: (taken from  from Joel and Victoria Osteen’s website)  Choosing your words is very important. The scripture tells us that life and death are in the power of the tongue. You can bless your future with your words, or you can curse it. God Himself spoke the worlds into existence by the creative power of words. There are many influences over our words. In the heat of the moment, we can let our emotions tell us what to say. We can listen to what others say and allow them to influence our words. We can even be influenced by what we watch on TV, the internet, or read in the news. But notice what today’s verse tells us that a wise person does—a wise person listens to their heart and lets their heart teach them what to say. As a believer, when you listen to your heart, you are tuning in to what the Spirit of God is saying to you. You are coming into agreement with Him. Today, listen to your heart. Take time to be still and quiet before the Lord. Allow Him to teach you what to say. As you submit your words and ways to Him, He will direct your path. A PRAYER FOR TODAY: Father God, thank You for giving me power in the words of my mouth. Help me to stay tuned into You by listening to my heart. Teach me to use my words to always speak life and bless others. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

***

Hello Friends,

Forgive the cut and paste – and if I have offended any of you with “religiosity” – again, forgive me. I felt compelled to share this today for a couple of reasons:

1. To show you all that I have moved on from that last blog. Ugh. I was in a PLACE! It’s so crazy how sometimes you let your environment ruin you. I’m not sure I saw it coming. I knew I’d been feeling a certain kind of way – with all of the stress I’d been experiencing in the last several months – but when I realized how angry and stuck I was I had to stop and just be…

2. I realize that no matter how we access our words – our thoughts, our voice or even a written word – we can direct our moods, our actions, and how we interact with people.  And, if it’s all negative – then how are we best serving ourselves?

3. My prayer, wish, mediation for all of us today is to be positive. Think it. Speak it. Be it.

I trust in the spiritual laws and while sometimes we become wayward – the universe is there waiting for us to return to order, to realign our selves and become centered again.

So, for all of us (today and always) – onward and upward.

An order has been placed.

Oh no she didn’t…

Hello Ladies.

Well, it’s April and the first quarter of the year has been so hectic for me I’m not sure I have been able to reflect on any lessons learned. Not yet.  I know for sure though…I have been a part of or exposed to some really messy stuff. My last blog described what was just the beginning of the hatefulness and deception I would be caught up in during the next months or so.

I think, as I sit here and write – one of my lessons is to believe people when they show you who they are. For me, it’s hard to believe that someone can pretend to be someone they are not. To an extent that they pretend to be a friend, they pretend to be interested in your life and seem to be invested in a mutual relationship.  What I found out though is that some people are really crazy. Ok. I know that sounds crazy – but, some people are really crazy. The very same person whom you thought was a friend turns on you like a Doberman pincher and you don’t know what hit you. You think whatever it could be that she misunderstood – the two of you can work it out. You can talk about it. Well, you could – if the other person wasn’t crazy. And then, you start to reflect on the tiny things you decided not to address in the past. You realize as you count them up, that there were signs but you refused to believe that she really could be that petty. Or that ignorant, or that …crazy.

When people show you who they are – believe them.

These experiences have been a confirmation – to be as honest as I can with myself.  Because I think if you are checking yourself, and commit to being self-aware; you can work on your stuff and develop the most authentic part of you. And, then you can be okay with the parts of you that are “in progress”.  I believe once you are there – when you are okay with yourself, you don’t have to believe anything anyone else has to say about you, or do to you that is not cool. (And, it’s usually the ones that have no self- awareness going on.) We all know it’s the ones that have no clue about the laws of attraction, karma, giving or of pure potentiality. 

At some point, you start to recognize other’s prevailing attitudes; you realize she really is negative, or that she really is hateful and toxic. And then you realize she has no place in your life.

I can’t say that working with women, in a professional sense or in a personal sense has been the easiest thing to do. And, I’ve heard other women say the same thing. But, I think there are only a few of these kinds of women that give our kind of women a bad name. We all have to stick together, and try to lift each other up. But, if the ones in your life that refuse to see her flaws, refuse to be open and conscientious, then – you have to move on. You have to let her find her own way – and not impede on your development. But, you can still secretly wish the best for her…

An order has been placed….

What in the world???

Hi everyone. So how’s your year going so far?  Last I wrote I made all these resolutions and was very optimistic about the New Year.

And then, the proverbial sh*t hit the fan.  Everything at the job has exploded and the fires are erupting left and right to the point where some of my co-workers are turning into backbiting teenagers, full of fear and uncertainty (or, have they always been this way?). My manager is stressed out and in my opinion seems unsure how the staff has ceased to behave like adults and perform like the professionals they once were.  Our business has encountered a MAJOR transition and while the transition was planned – it occurred prematurely and with NO warning. So, we all are scrambling, panicking and some of THEM are resisting the transition with such intensity that the rest of us have had to manage the brunt of the fall out – because we have been able to maintain our composure. But, believe me – more of them are on the OTHER side of the line; twiddling their thumbs, complaining, creating junior high school drama and basically creating a hellish work environment for the rest of us.

And that’s just WORK!  I won’t go there with you about my husband who can be a complete pain in the tush, the kids are at each other’s throats, daycare increased tuition, the school teacher thinks my 9 year old son doesn’t relate to children and seems to think he needs more play dates on the weekends. (Hey lady, who has time for a play date every Saturday? Unless it’s called the “let’s clean the house, do the laundry, service the cars, go grocery shopping – and have time to exhale” – play date… then, it ain’t happening. Pa-Lease! )

When we had all that snow, and I was in the house with the kids for those several days, I thought I was losing my mind. I mean, how many Doritos and hot chocolate can one child eat? I’ll tell you – 1 family size bag and 3 packets of the instant stuff and then he gives it ALL back to you on the floor on the way to the toilet! 

I knew something was askew when I couldn’t wait to get back to the hell I had started to call work!

Have I mentioned – I turn 40 this year? And, if I ever thought I was in perimenopause, these last few weeks have made it real clear that I AM.

I’m wondering if the planets shifted in mid- January, if the tides are low, if Murphy’s Law is in overdrive? Uhh, not sure – but let me just tell you – that optimism I waved in the air at the beginning of the year – is low and I’m dragging her behind me.

I’m still holding on though.

I’m wondering if any of you have been experiencing crazy types of resistance or drama or just strange occurrences in the last few weeks.  What is going on in your lives?

I know one thing for sure. I dedicated myself to practicing peace and not holding onto the past and staying centered this year. And, I have been tested… to the point of “barely sane” but, I’m committed to it. I might be visiting Mr. State Store and seeing what the Chairman has for me more often – but let me be clear – I’m holding on.

It is the times of adversity. The times of pure chaos that tests a person. Doesn’t it? It’s during these times that offer the opportunity for you to make the decision to give up, give in or make a way. 

I am okay though my friends. I am aware of the craziness and I am not internalizing it. I realize there are times when things happen – all at once. And, that if I just try to keep a sense of humor and my wits about me (and maybe a bottle of Cab) and remember that this too shall pass – I’ll get through it. It sounds familiar – but this is life. It’s cyclical. There’s the good, the bad and the ugly. In rotation… the difference is for us, is that we must learn from ourselves, our adversities, and the crazy stuff – so that when it comes around again – we can become quiet-centered and focused on how to organize ourselves (our families and even some of our co-workers) enough to work through it.

Yup. That’s my two cents. I hope all is well in your worlds. And, (if applicable) I hope you live close to a State Store.

An order has been placed…

Some of the names of the characters in this depiction were changed to protect their identity. And, **Disclaimer: This writer is in no way advocating irresponsible consumption of alcohol.

Make the New Year – YOUR New Year!

Hello Friends~

 

So – we did it. And it’s almost over. We made it through the bulk of the holidays for this Holiday season. The kids didn’t swallow any stick pins stuck in any Halloween candy, there were no real arguments at Thanksgiving dinner (at least, no chairs were turned over…) and seemingly all went well at the in-laws for the Christmas cocktail hour (well, face it – she still don‘t like you and …really – does it matter? LOL). Now, all we have to do is make it to 2010 without any alcohol induced situations at the New Year’s Party. Then we can get on to the business of the new year.

I don’t know about you gals – but its imperative for me to make resolutions…excuse me – create visions – for each new year. Funny how just ten years ago – making resolutions was perfectly admirable. But nooooo – now we have to create vision boards, affirm our days, meditate on our prosperity…blah blah blah. Thanks a lot Oprah. Just kidding – I’m a huge advocate of making and setting goals for yourself for the year, no matter what you call it!

It’s not that you MUST achieve each and every goal you’ve set for yourself… That would be nice, though. it’s more the exercise in making a plan for yourself, taking specific steps to attaining any one of them and ultimately gaining a sense of pride due to your focused efforts.

Recently I watched the movie – Julie and Julia. Uhhh and OMG! How could you NOT love that movie. The mere premise is exactly what I’m talking about. She – Julie Powell characterizes her “project” as Julia saving her from drowning. This young lady made a decision to change her life around. She felt lost and stuck. And just – decided… Now, how that young lady actually mastered Julia’s recipes – is a feat (even the attempt at mastering) – and well worth us taking our hats off to her.

So, I’m just sayin – sitting down and making a decision to challenge yourself is a manifestation of how you actually feel about your self. That you – somewhere deep down, think you can do it. You think you have the capacity of doing “it“. You are announcing to yourself – to the universe that you are tapped into your souls’ desire. Even if you don’t accomplish all of those goals on your list – it is you, affirming you.

The deepest part of you that knows you are not where you should be – but also knows you just need a push – by…you. You just need to get you going and thinking better of yourself.  And – no matter how many of those goals you’ve accomplished at the end of that year – just looking back, realizing where you were compared to where you are – is one of the most rewarding feelings ever.

Now, if you are the type that actually makes resolutions or creates visions for yourself – then you know what I’ve been getting at (and please don’t be blasé about this writer’s declarations…). And for those of you who are new to the game…here are a few tips that might encourage you to jot a few things down for the new year:

1. Write it down. It’s important to document your plan. It’s nice to think about what you’d like to accomplish – but there is no way to describe the importance of writing, the affect of the actual exercise, and then being able to look at what you’ve written 12 moths later thereby looking back into a space and time owned by only you. (I like to use a journal….call me old school.)

2. Be realistic. You can visualize you winning the lottery and becoming a millionaire and ruling the world – sure, why not? But… uh, why don’t you start with how you conduct your day? Do you see yourself a little nicer to the people around you? Do you see yourself as being more of a team player at the job? You can crate a theme for your vision. You can work towards any career related goals. You can work toward relationship related goals. You can plan to spend time with your kids – one Saturday per child for the next year. And then, make the list reasonable in the amount of goals listed. 10 is a good number to start with.

3. Once you write down your goals. Continue to write out your plan. For example, take the next few weeks to write out the steps to get you more “on board” at the job. Perhaps you can create steps to developing the relationships at work. Consider asking one or two of your co-workers to lunch in February or March. Then, talk to your manager and ask what you can do to be part of an upcoming project that involves those two people. The point is – some of your goals may require additional steps you must visualize to actually consider them accomplished.

4. Don’t beat yourself up. If by June you realize not only have you not worked toward these goals – but you don’t even know where you saved that “Resolutions” file, or where you put that piece of napkin you wrote them on. It’s ok. Re-write them. Reduce the size of the list. Just write one – if you are overwhelmed and feeling a bit defeated. The point is to aspire to something more than where you are tight now. Mentally, Physically, Socially, Spiritually.

5. Pat your self on the back on December 31^st. Even if you wrote several goals, and didn’t accomplish any of them 100%. The part where you congratulate yourself is key to building your self confidence and the way you see your world. Then, write a new set for the next year.

Ok? Ok. Let’s do it ladies, Let’s rock 2010 – let’s be more than who we are now. Let’s rise. Let’s fly into the possibilities of our existence.

Good luck. And Happy New Year.

An order has been placed …

Notes from the road….

So, I commute to work every weekday using Rte 1 South through the exchange onto 76 East merging onto 676 and then taking the 15^th St/Vine St exit.  In an effort to heal myself of the dreaded “road rage” disease, I felt it important enough to my treatment to share a few observations with the world.

1. It’s ok to drive the speed limit.  Don’t you read the paper? Listen to the news? Pedestrians are getting knocked off one by one by those of you who ignore the speed limit – especially on the Boulevard.  Slow it down.

2. I think there are signs posted??? There is no parking in the right lane on Roosevelt Boulevard during those early morning commuting hours. So, it’s not ok to park there during rush hour.

3. It’s ok to yield to a merging lane. I think even in Drivers Ed., and somewhere in that book you study from to get your license – it states that we are to yield to the merging lane.   And, if not, it is still ok to change lanes to allow for the merging traffic to enter the lane.

4.  Therefore, it’s not ok to run the merging driver off the road.

5.  Since the construction is finally finished on the exchange, it’s ok to now drive like it.  The road is freshly paved, the traffic does flow the way I’m sure the civil engineer designed it, so do us all a favor and move it.

6.   Even though a fancy new digital announcement sign has been erected to inform us how long it may take to get from the Rte 1 exchange to 676 – it’s not ok to slow to a near stop to read it, especially in the passing lane.

7.   For you newcomers, the exit toward City Line Ave backs up – so if you are not going that way move into the middle lane before the rush of oncoming cars approaches you. So, it’s not ok to cut drivers off because you weren’t paying attention.

8.   It’s ok to use your blinker to ask permission to change lanes.  And even more ok to wave “thanks” to the driver behind you who let you in. Who raised you? Use your manners.

9.   It’s not ok to speed up when you see a blinker go on – so not to allow the driver in your lane.  What exactly says – “I win” after you’ve mowed down a Mini Cooper because you wanted to be ahead of him?

10.   More words for the newcomer: There is a sun glare at the bend in the road on 76E,  right about at Girard St.  So, it’s not ok to lay on your horn for the drivers ahead of you to speed up. Dude – we can’t see.

11.  It’s ok to slow down at the turn off onto 676.  The turn can be hazardous in inclement weather… That means you – trucker.

12.  It’s ok to stay in that backed up lane at the Vine street exit. The far right lane seems to back up all the way to the entering exit before it.  It makes things easier for a driver like me who knows that there are 2 turning lanes. Yeah! 2 seconds shaved off my commute!

13.   FYI: the police that are posted at 15^th and Cherry, 15^th and Arch and 15^th and JFK aren’t there to be pretty. You are going to get a ticket if you block the box.  So, it’s ok to slow down approaching the yellow light.  Special Commuters Note: Only in these instances.

14.  And, speaking of “blocking” – it’s not ok to block the entrance to a parking garage – people need to go into said garage and park.

Thank you people…for participating in my healing.   And I extend my wishes for all of you for your own healing and happy travels.

An order has been placed with the Universe.

Seven Spiritual Laws of Success

Over a decade ago I met Deepak Chopra – ok, I didn’t really meet him face to face – but I started reading his books and catching him now and again on PBS when they would do a  membership drive.  Do they still do this? They run programs that are really interesting – well, at least to the PBS programmers and periodically break with a plea to get you to become a member of the PBS family. If you joined, you’d get not only get a recording of that program – but a handy tote bag.

Any who – Deepak is one of the most acclaimed spiritual gurus.  Just ask Mike Myers.

The last couple of weeks have been causing much reflection and producing many questions of life – for a lot of us. Not a surprise with the Autumnal Equinox and the commencement of the darkest seasons of the year. With the earth’s equator being illuminated, the beginnings of the affects of sun deprivation, seasonal affect disorder and such and such…who wouldn’t be asking “why?” and “how?” and “when?”  So, in an effort to stay on course and to be reminded that we all have the answers within – I refer to THE guru of self actualization.

Following is a list of the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success as defined by Deepak Chopra.  Plus a simple everyday translation to help us put things into perspective!  

 

 “Success in life could be defined as the continued expansion of happiness
and the progressive realization of worthy goals.
Success is the ability to fulfill your desires with effortless ease.“
- Deepak Chopra

 

1.      The Law of Pure Potentiality

The source of all creation is pure consciousness…pure potentiality seeking expression from the unmanifest to the manifest. And when we realize that our true Self is one of pure potentiality, we align with the power that manifests everything in the universe.

Every Gal’s Translation: 

Meditate. Pray. God and The Universe will provide you with the answer.

Maybe not the answer to – how can you shut the girl up in the next cubicle – because all day she sings or hums Barry Manilow songs (and they don’t necessarily have to be playing on her streaming radio to do so). But, maybe the prayer or mediation can help you find peace in her tunes; maybe it can encourage you to talk to your supervisor to see if a “quiet time” can be created for everyone to focus on their work. Or maybe it can put you in a place where you can talk to her without resentment or aggression.
 

2. The Law of Giving

The universe operates through dynamic exchange…giving and receiving are different aspects of the flow of energy in the universe. And in our willingness to give that which we seek, we keep the abundance of the universe circulating in our lives.

Every Gal’s Translation: 

Consider the power of giving…

When Oprah decides to give everyone in her audience a year’s worth of the best cupcakes in the country;  her generosity is the root and she finds joy in it. And, in the same example – as the recipient, the power of receiving openly is as much a visceral reward as it is a touch to your deepest part of you. It makes you feel worthy. Thus affecting your esteem in turn elevates you and in the end encourages you to return (to someone) a most beautiful favor.

3. The Law of Karma

Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind…what we sow is what we reap.  And when we choose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of our karma is happiness and success.

Every Gal’s Translation:

Ok. So that girl in your office, the hummer…if you somehow spilled water on her keyboard and shorted out her path to Barry – how do you think the Universe will repay you?  But, if you got the rest of the tortured in your area to chip in and buy BOSE headphones for her and encouraged her to listen to Barry – and not SING backup, she’d get the hint, walk away unharmed and…you just might get repaid tenfold.

4. The Law of Least Effort

Nature’s intelligence functions with effortless ease…with carefreeness, harmony, and love. And when we harness the forces of harmony, joy, and love, we create success and good fortune with effortless ease.

Every Gal’s Translation:

It’s not that deep. Don’t be so attached to your opinion. Yours is not the only one.  People are people. You mind you and let them mind them.  Live and let live. Kum Bay Ya!

5. The Law of Intention and Desire

Inherent in every intention and desire is the mechanics for its fulfillment…intention and desire in the field of pure potentiality have infinite organizing power. And when we introduce an intention in the fertile ground of pure potentiality, we put this infinite organizing power to work for us.

Every Gal’s Translation:

Don’t lie. Even to yourself. The Universe is watching. Keep your heart pure. Let your mind focus on the truth of your now.

 

6. The Law of Detachment

In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty…in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe.

Every Gal’s Translation:

Take a chance. Big Risk. Big Reward. Don’t trap yourself in your fear. ANYTHING is possible.

 

7. The Law of Dharma

Everyone has a purpose in life…a unique or special talent to give to others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals. 

Every Gal’s Translation:

 You are better than what you are right now. God knows it. The Universe knows it. Be it.

 

 An order has been placed with the Universe.

The pursuit of happiness…

(We want to hear from you! This blog is intended to be a collaborative effort on the subject.)

Happiness is defined as: a state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy according to wordnet.com

SR is thinking: It can be a defined moment in ones life, It can be an overall feeling a person has for their life, It can be some elusive goal someone has and is always looking to attain.

What is happiness to you? SR would love to hear from you all. What do you think happiness is? How are you pursuing it – (if you don’t already have it)?

Is it the same as success? Can success be exclusive of happiness? Or, is happiness a requirement of success?

Happiness changes as we get older – doesn’t it? I mean – when we were 10, happiness was summertime, Six Flags and a bag full of candy. Nothing else mattered. Ha.

At 16, happiness was the mere thought of being with your first love – forever. The fact that your parents let you go on a real date with him… and those butterflies we all felt when we were in love at that age. Ahhh. Young love.

At 24, happiness was saving up for your first grown up vacation since you landed your first real job. That job gave you hope for the future. That job was the key to your happiness and things! It provided you with the means to get your first designer bag, your Friday nights out on the town with your girls and being able to “dine” at a restaurant that was classified by stars. Fun times.

Happiness in our early 40’s could just mean our Pap was negative, the mammo was painful but nothing remarkable resulted from the test, and we can still see without glasses. I mean – for real.

Seriously, at this age – 39, married with kids, happiness to this writer is as simple as being able to make my children smile, hear the truest joy in their laughter and knowing for sure – they want for nothing and that I am responsible for that.

Ahhh, happiness comes in all forms doesn’t it?

Do you all remember what happiness meant to you at those ages? Did the feeling change ?

I mean, even if the subject of your happiness has changed – the WAY you feel when you are happy still touches you in the same place, right? Or, does it?

The thought of happiness resides in us. But, does the feeling? Is that feeling a constant? Is it elusive? Or, does it come and go for any of you?

Write back. Tell SR what happiness means for you. Help us all by sharing your most sincere thoughts on the feeling.  We can’t wait to hear from you.

 

*** We all want to be happy. Don’t we?

An order has been placed with the universe.

Other People’s Opionions

Should other people’s opinions matter to us?

So, SR has been thinking about opinions. Everyone has one – right? We have them of ourselves and of others … and they have opinions of us, etc. The question is when do we let those opinions e/affect us and the journey of self development?

Some of us have husbands. It seems reasonable to hope that what our husbands think of us is in the highest regard. Especially when it comes to us as mothers, homemakers, hostesses (God forbid that mother-in-law comes over and the silver settings aren’t polished and the fare isn‘t gourmet!). That opinion can be very affective in the way a wife relates to her husband… Based on the assumption she cares what her husband thinks – if she knows her husband has a high opinion of her mothering – she will want to continue the way she does “business” to encourage his high regard of her. What about the type of opinion? For example – if hubby thinks wifely is a bit kooky when it comes to her cleaning regimen – say for example, wifey has to sweep the floor 4 times before she mops and when she mops it has to be cleaned in a counter clockwise manner for an even amount of times… well, maybe she doesn’t care so much what he thinks of that. Maybe that particular opinion has absolutely no effect on how they relate to each other, that she could care less if he thinks she has a screw loose. Funny – but you get the point? What about differing opinions? That gets tricky when he thinks the children should be disciplined one way and she another? That’s when the opinions have to be compromised and a consensus of the minds must be created.

Consider the opinion your manager has of you. What is it based on? Is how you do your job an equal contribution to her opinion as how you present yourself in company meetings and in the corridors of the office? And, how much weight does her opinion of you have in your day to day execution of your job? And, what if her opinion of how you do your job doesn’t match your opinion of how you think you do it? This is why performance evaluations are so important. Here, you can manage expectations and ask for help or resources or modifications in an effort to be on the same page and to do your job well. In this way – the formation of how two opinions are created and developed – at least in the way you actually do your job can be co-created.

Consider the opinion your mother has of you – ok,wait. That’s a whole other blog. Next.

The opinions held in friendships are also very interesting to consider. What if you find out that your girlfriend most valued your opinion and that she held you in higher regard than you actually thought she did? Wouldn’t that encourage you to up your game on being a friend? Wouldn’t you want to not let her down? Would that say something about your opinion of the friendship? That it meant the friendship was just as important to you as her high regard for you? Isn’t that a nice thing to have? That two people could hold each other up, protect a relationship and do good things to increase its value?

According to Free Online Dictionary.com Opinion:–A belief or conclusion held with confidence but not substantiated by positive knowledge or proof: A judgment based on special knowledge and given by an expert: A judgment or estimation of the merit of a person or thing…

So many opinions; Ed Ops, friends, sports analysts, bosses, “The View” , forecasting panels, husbands, forums, mothers, therapists, blogs (wink) – everyone has an opinion. Imagine where Jennifer Hudson would be had she “believed” America’s opinion of her that year of American Idol!

One can explore the reasons we accept or do not accept other’s opinions into our belief systems. Do they match our own? Do they add to our self value? Do they challenge us to think about how our own are formed? Do they open our eyes to bigger possibilities? Do they demean us? Do they totally contradict what we stand for? Etcetera.

Its important to consider other viewpoints. It helps us to stay open and helps us explore possibilities. But, we are obliged to do our own “field work”. To find facts, research “definites“, truths…to come to our own conclusions. And, with the combination of our life experiences, our found facts, and our understanding that possibility is endless – we can develop sound conclusions to form our own belief systems.

One of the continual journeys some of us face is that of self actualization. Gaining any encouragement to assist us on that journey is a plus; we must recognize that it is the positive influences that will help us with that journey – and in the same manner – we must be aware of the power of negativity and remove it from our lives so that we free up the possibilities for us to become who the Universe meant us to be.

An order has been placed.

The Importance of an Apology

SR has been thinking about the importance of an apology and how the apology is important in both your personal and business worlds. 

In high school you thought you were letting your girlfriend know that her boyfriend was offensive and acted inappropriately to other friends in her circle and that telling her the truth of the many instances that he had been a jerk to all of her friends was what a true friend was supposed to do.  At work, where you and your colleagues are chummy – joshing with your cubicle buddy that her hair sometimes is a victim of humidity seemed to be a totally acceptable joke considering the rapport you have developed with her over the 6 years you have known her.  Telling your husband that he needs to show “our 13 year old son how to be a man…” seemed to be the right thing to say when discussing how the children are getting older and soon they’d be out on their own making a life for themselves.

What you didn’t know was your girlfriend got pissed because she thought you were telling her she chose her boyfriend over her girlfriends…hunh??? Or, that your colleague at work had just recovered from alopecia before she started working with you – so any comment on her hair felt like a dagger to her confidence.  Gulp – had no idea! And, you thought what you’d said to your husband was a way to encourage him to show your son all the good qualities your husband possessed. You certainly didn’t know that he would get offended and feel like you were telling him he needed to step it up on being a father. And, that since his father had always been hard on him growing up – old tapes of his father making him feel inadequate started playing in his heag  and your words reduced him into being that 16 year old who’d just wished his dad would accept him. Uhhhh, who knew???

But, you figured something was wrong when after high school graduation you never heard from your girlfriend again, until 20 years later after she found you on FB.  Or, the colleague who you’d normally eat breakfast bagels with stopped talking to you, you couldn’t get her to talk so you asked another co-worker what’s the deal - and she dropped the 411.  And, after a week of your husbands’ snide comments, sarcasm and hurtful remarks – you confront him,  and after a 3 hour argument he reveals to you his painful past and the unresolved issues he has with his own father.

Ring a bell? Have you ever been the one who was hurt, offended or angry?  Or, have you ever been the one where you knew something you said didn’t deliver the way you intended it?  In any case – whether you needed to let someone know how hurt you were by their words, or if you hurt someone; it is important to apologize.   And on forgiveness… enabling the other person to apologize by letting them know you have been hurt is just as important to the process of the apology as it is knowing you have to give an apology.

An apology reinforces the importance of the relationship with the person whom you have offended.  It shows respect. It lets that person know you deeply care about their feelings and that you want to preserve the trust between the two of you.  In the same vain, letting someone know they have offended you allows you to come clean on how you felt, or feel.  It also gives the other person the opportunity to make it right.  If, your intentions are to heal the relationship – you must let them know what hurt you.

Whether you are good at apologies or not, if you think you aren’t “wrong”, or if you just don’t feel like it – no matter, if you value the relationship you must apologize. You must show the other person that you intend on healing the hurt.

To give an apology doesn’t require the dramatic delivery of Socrates in his Apology to an Athenian jury (although, not really the apology we are talking about here. Then, apology had a different meaning…more of an oratory statement of defense. And, since he was on trial for his life, totally called for!  Hmmm, I think some husbands still use THIS version of apology…).  The apology we are talking about here has a few key elements.  You definitely shouldn’t be defensive nor should you demean the person who you are delivering the apology to. I mean, telling someone you are sorry they are such a wuss, for example – doesn’t really meet today’s definition of an apology.

According to Elements of an Effective Apology ©Marsha Wagner, Columbia University some of the key points to remember when apologizing is: 1. A common understanding of what actually happened, 2. Responsibility or accountability of the one who offended, 3. Acknowledgment of pain or embarrassment …, 4. A statement of regret and one with future intentions.

Ok, so we know there are times when we really didn’t intend on offending.  Or, we don’t really want to apologize because maybe it may make us feel inferior to the person claiming to be hurt, but – so what. Grow up and Fess up. Restore the trust in that relationship, and demonstrate you have sincere intentions on healing the hurt.

Apologize. Let whoever know how you feel so you both can get past it.

We all want to be respected and loved and acknowledged.  So, we must learn how to express those same qualities to our friends and loved ones.

An order has been placed with the Universe.